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Quit worrying about others opinions: Timesaving Tuesday

Worrying

As busy parents we often spend way too much time worrying about what other people think about us and the choices we make.  I am a great believer in doing what is best for you and your family and letting other people do what is best for theirs.  This can of course be difficult if the people disagreeing with you are particularly vocal or are closely related to you in some way, but if it is important enough, be strong and hold your ground.  You know what is best in your personal circumstances.

I once told a colleague that I was going to have a massage on the weekend.  At the time my children were very young and I was working full time.  Her reaction was almost outrage.  She basically told me I was being selfish and should be putting my children’s needs before my own.  I began to question myself.  Perhaps it was self indulgent, maybe I shouldn’t be thinking about how great it would feel to lie quietly with my eyes shut for an hour, not having any obligations to anyone or anything.

Luckily I told this story to a friend of mine and she had the complete opposite view.  She knows how much trouble I have with my back and how busy I was with two small children and a demanding job.  Her question to me was ‘So how long do you think you will be able to keep up this pace if you don’t take some time out for yourself once in a while?’   She told me that if I had a nervous breakdown I would not be any good to anyone.  That helped me put the whole thing back into perspective.  I did need to do something just for me and at that point what I needed was a massage.

Of course there will be times when another person’s perspective will open our eyes to things we could be doing differently.  Learn from these ideas and use them to help you become the type of parent you want to be.  However, when someone else’s views don’t match your own parenting philosophy, file their advice into the rubbish pile and go on with your life.

My advice: Have confidence in your own opinions and don’t waste any of your precious time worrying about other people’s.

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{ 10 comments… add one }
  • Hugzilla September 19, 2015, 5:20 pm

    Hahahaha yes, I think my natural arrogance in this department leads me to care not a whit what other people have to say about my parenting. It’s amazing though – everyone has an opinion!

    • lifewrangling@gmail.com September 21, 2015, 5:06 pm

      Don’t they just! It can be hard to ignore but worthwhile in the end.

  • Mumma McD September 20, 2015, 7:09 pm

    When someone gives me unsolicited advice, or let’s me know what their opinion is, I just smile and nod. And then carry on doing whatever I was doing :).

    • lifewrangling@gmail.com September 21, 2015, 5:07 pm

      Good strategy. That way you can keep the relationship but choose to leave the advice.

  • Morgan Prince September 20, 2015, 10:04 pm

    Couldn’t agree more. You definitely deserve some time off, how else would you wind down? It is really tough being a mum and on top of that working full time? I’m not sure I could do that. My boys are at school now and I get most of the day to myself but when they were younger I HAD to have time away otherwise I’d go insane! Don’t worry about what others think, like you said – it’s a waste of time. #anythinggoes

    • lifewrangling@gmail.com September 21, 2015, 5:09 pm

      Definitely need some ‘me’ time to recharge the batteries. Insane mothers are never a good idea. ?

  • Sarah Doyle - let them be small September 22, 2015, 2:55 pm

    I think it’s really hard to be a parent – everyone has an opinion but no one knows what it is like to live your family life.
    I am a stay at home parent so finding time for me is really hard sometimes. I am sure there would be people judging me for being sat writing this comment whilst my children play on their play mats next to me! What they don’t see is that after I’ve written this I have so much planned for the day – this is my break for 10 mins.
    You know what works for you and your family xx
    #anythinggoes

    • lifewrangling@gmail.com September 25, 2015, 8:06 pm

      Absolutely Sarah. Have you seen posts recently criticising parents who take their children to the playground and then have a time out while the kids play? So bizarre because people blame mobile phones nowadays and yet I don’t recall my own mother ever playing with us in the park. No mobiles in sight then. 🙂 Everyone needs to recharge their batteries and not feel as if they need to apologise for it.

  • Blogging mummy September 27, 2015, 4:37 pm

    Thank you for linking up with #anythinggoes linky I absolutely think you need your own space away from the children every so often. Also its a fab time for the kids to spend more time with other people and get used to being away from you for a while. I think we would all end up going crazy is we were with our kids 24/7. I try not to listen to others but sometimes it is hard. x

    • lifewrangling@gmail.com September 27, 2015, 7:01 pm

      What a great way to think about it. Teaching our children to be more independent.

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